You've been ... thunderstruck!

dodge•ball n. A game in which players on one team try to eliminate players on another by hitting them with an inflated ball.

As a general rule, the head is off-limits. Generally speaking. But as my devoted readers may realize by now, my luck is subpar lately (reference previous post). I've even been described as "accident prone" by a good friend.

Wednesday night is dodgeball night. I had a rough day at work last Wednesday, and I wasn't really "feelin' it" for dodgeball. Didn't bring my A game. But I got out there and did my best. I was a little miffed when in the second game, I got tagged in the upper thigh, leaving a hefty bruise. Not keen on bruising, but it comes with the territory.

That night, so did getting hit in the face. Head-on. I didn't even see it coming - not even time to flinch. I've never felt such pain. Honestly. Though I didn't leave my feet, I was certainly reeling. I sat down - laid down - and bawled like a little girl. Immediate reaction is to cover your face, which I did, and thought for sure when I pulled my hands back, there'd be blood. But there was none. I couldn't open my left eye, my face was on fire, and I had bit my tongue. Oh, and there was the embarrassment factor.

I had been doing relatively well that game, but made a terrible mistake. I took my eyes off the opposing team to retrieve a ball from behind me. I hadn't even finished turning back around when I was hit. Mind you, I was standing up. Now, I'm almost 6 feet tall, so to hit me in the face while standing up is just careless throwing. Granted, I don't blame the guy, but it was sloppy. And he pegged that shit. Some of these guys (my team included) have real cannon throws that, if not careful, could do real damage. Case in point.

I asked to go sit in the bleachers, so the game could go on (and so I didn't prolong the scene - I wanted to disappear). The ref asked a bunch of questions, to which I answered with varying nods, then promptly laid down on the cool metal bleachers with an ice pack on my eye. A few minutes later, I was able to blink and could swear someone had run a knife through my eye. Not good. After several failed attempts at flushing out my eye in the bathroom sink, I eventually drove myself home.

Cutting to the exciting stuff (for those reading, not for me), I ended up in St. Luke's ER with a corneal abrasion. Ooooh fun. All I can say is, God bless the person who developed Alcaine, the drops they put in your eyes to numb them. The nurse and doctor had no sense of humor, and failed to find it amusing that I simply asked for the bottle, then I'd go on my way. They also didn't find it funny when I asked how many patients they've seen with dodgeball injuries ... who were older than 12. Not even a chuckle. To hell with 'em.

You might think having an ornery doctor poke and prod your eyes, put a bunch of shit in them and ask a lot of questions (the SAME questions over and over) would be the worst part, but no. The tetanus shot was. When the nasty nurse told me I'd need one, that sealed the deal as the shittiest part of the trip. Not because I hate shots. I really don't care. It's two days after when you feel like someone slugged you in the damn arm. I figured, between my face hurting and my arm aching, I was going to feel like I lost a fight. I later asked the nurse why I needed the shot. I thought it was for metal-related injuries like stepping on a nail. She said it was for any dirty wound, and I hadn't had a tetanus shot since I was in 5th grade (I had stabbed myself with metal scissors. Metal = tetanus shot). I told her I never knew, and figured it was because no one explains to a 5th grade kid why they're getting a shot, just that they're getting one. Not even a grin. Bitch.

I ended up missing work the next day. Went to the Mayo Clinic (nice joint; highly recommended if you ever have to go) to see an ophthalmologist, luckily with a sense of humor. And so now I'm recovering. Drops, Aleve, drops, Aleve. I'm sick of both. I still have a headache. And my vision is all fuckered up. My left eye (which took the hit) is my good eye. It always compensated for how bad my right eye is. But now I can't see a damn thing with my glasses on - I see better with them off. It doesn't make any sense. I just hope it isn't permanent because I still saw best with my glasses. Right now, I'm just getting by.

But hey, this isn't going to spin off into a bitch session. The guy who hit me did apologize, and I've got no animosity toward him at all. It's not as though he thought, "I'm going to hit that chick RIGHT IN THE FACE! Yeah!" It wasn't intentional. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about going back into the game. I'm still taking this Wednesday off.